I was actually the opposite. I wasn't someone who fell in love easily. I stayed away from relationships because I had commitment issues myself.

For a very long time, I associated marriage with prison. I saw marriage as something where a woman's freedom was taken away.

Growing up, I had seen many controlling relationships where the woman was expected to adjust, compromise, and listen to the man. I also struggled with setting boundaries and saying no to people I loved. So, naturally, love began to feel like a burden.

During my engineering days, I lived in a girls' hostel. I was often the agony aunt. Girls would come and tell me their deepest secrets about their relationships.

I heard so many stories of cheating, betrayal, and heartbreak. I saw girls being fooled by boys and crying over relationships.

All these stories became part of my understanding of love.

So whenever I genuinely liked someone, I would run in the opposite direction. I felt claustrophobic at the thought of being in a relationship.

Eventually, I entered an arranged marriage because I wanted to make my parents happy. I couldn't see another way out of the expectations around me.

I tried to be sincere and faithful in that marriage, but I could never truly love my husband.

By the time I separated, after five years, I had lost my sense of who I was.

When I discovered the Law of Attraction in 2011, I didn't immediately start manifesting love. In fact, for almost two years, I focused entirely on my career, finances, and rebuilding my life.

Then something changed.

I watched my roommate and her partner work through their relationship. It wasn't an easy relationship, but I saw something I'd rarely witnessed before.

I saw a man genuinely making an effort to understand a woman and make the relationship work.

That made me curious.

Maybe relationships didn't have to be about women sacrificing everything.

Maybe there were men who genuinely wanted an equal partnership.

For the first time, I started believing such a relationship might exist.

I decided to try the Law of Attraction to manifest my ideal partner.

I sat down and thought carefully about who my soulmate would be and what kind of relationship I wanted.

Within about a month, I connected with the man who would become my husband. Interestingly, he was someone I already knew.

And within a week of our romantic connection beginning, I knew I was deeply in love.

It scared the hell out of me.

Because suddenly I knew I loved someone so deeply that whether I was physically with him or not, I would still love him.

For someone who had spent her life running away from love, that was terrifying.

One of the most common beliefs I've encountered is that a woman doesn't deserve love.

And I find that a lot of this comes from childhood, particularly how parents treat their daughters.

I can speak about India because that's the society I know.

In India, traditionally, the boy child has often been considered more important than the girl child.

There's a phrase we use: paraya dhan.

It implies that a daughter belongs to another family. She grows up being reminded that she will eventually leave her parents' home.

So she's treated as an outsider in her own family, and when she gets married, she may find herself being treated as an outsider in her husband's family too.

Imagine what that does to a girl's sense of belonging.

There can be an underlying message in society that a girl is somehow less valuable than a boy.

Of course, this isn't true of every family, but it is a cultural pattern I've observed.

Unless parents consciously make their daughter feel special, valued, and deserving of unconditional love, she may grow up believing that love must be earned.

She might think she has to behave in a certain way, meet everybody's expectations, or become the perfect daughter or wife to deserve affection.

Then there is the fear of intimacy.

Intimacy means vulnerability.

It means opening yourself to someone, showing them who you really are, and trusting them with your heart.

That's frightening when you've grown up believing that love gives another person control over you.

So even when a woman consciously says she wants a committed relationship, somewhere in her subconscious she may be frightened of commitment.

Or she may believe she doesn't deserve it.

A woman can want love with her conscious mind while carrying beliefs that make receiving it feel unsafe or undeserved.

There are several reasons.

One of the biggest is that she's already invested so much in the relationship.

She's invested her time, emotions, energy, love, and perhaps years of her life.

She doesn't want all that investment to go to waste.

So she thinks, "I've already waited for so long. What if things change tomorrow?"

Another reason is that she doesn't believe she'll find anyone better.

I've seen so many people living with very little because they're afraid that if they lose even that little, they'll have nothing.

They don't believe the kind of love they see in movies actually exists in real life.

Or they believe such love may exist, but not for them.

So they think, "At least I have this much. What if I leave and end up with something even worse?"

It's almost like jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

People often don't move until the situation becomes absolutely unbearable.

I've also seen relationships where, just as the woman decides she's had enough and wants to leave, the man suddenly becomes very sweet.

He starts giving her attention.

He becomes loving and affectionate.

She starts doubting her decision.

She thinks, "Maybe I misunderstood him. Maybe things will get better."

And she goes back.

This kind of push-and-pull behaviour can be extremely confusing.

Over time, you begin doubting your own judgement.

You keep telling yourself that if you wait a little longer, if you do a little more, everything will work out.

Sometimes a woman stays not because she's happy, but because she's terrified that leaving will mean having nothing.

There could be many beliefs creating this pattern.

One belief might be that true love doesn't exist.

Another might be that love exists, but it won't happen to her.

She might believe she's not worthy of that kind of love or that she's simply not lucky enough.

These beliefs can come from childhood, past relationships, rejection, or experiences of abandonment.

She might have grown up believing that this is simply how the world works.

She may say things like, "This generation doesn't believe in commitment," or "Men are all the same."

She might believe she's not special enough to experience something different.

Sometimes a woman has witnessed cheating when she was very young.

Perhaps she saw it in her family, among neighbours, or in relationships around her.

She may have absorbed the belief that cheating is normal or that expecting fidelity is asking too much.

There could be a whole collection of beliefs operating underneath her conscious desire for love.

And in my experience, many of these beliefs eventually lead back to one core feeling.

"I'm not enough."

Not beautiful enough.

Not special enough.

Not worthy enough.

Not lucky enough.

Through the Law of Attraction, I explore how these beliefs may influence the emotional expectations a person carries into relationships.

You can repeat affirmations saying you're worthy of love, but if you deeply believe the opposite, there's an inner conflict worth examining.

That's why I believe we need to work on the underlying beliefs, rather than relying only on affirmations and visualisation.

Healing beliefs is literally like peeling an onion.

You have to work layer by layer.

The first layer is what your conscious mind already knows.

When someone comes to me, I talk to them extensively.

I want to understand their life, what pains them, their successes, their relationships, and the experiences that shaped them.

From these conversations, I begin understanding their general belief system.

Then we move deeper.

I use meditation and trance-based techniques to explore childhood experiences, family beliefs, and the messages they've absorbed from parents and society.

These can tell us a lot about what a person may have inherited emotionally or learned while growing up.

Once we've explored those layers, we may move into deeper meditative work.

We focus on a particular belief that the person wants to change, and we explore what feels like the root of that belief.

Sometimes it connects to childhood.

In my spiritual healing framework, clients may also explore symbolic experiences that they associate with the womb or past lives.

I work with these experiences energetically and spiritually, rather than treating them as scientifically verified memories.

Then we move to the next belief.

And the next.

This is why I call it peeling the onion.

Over time, through this process, clients often report feeling lighter, more self-aware, and more accepting of themselves.

But something interesting happens.

When you reach a more peaceful and fulfilling place within yourself, whether you find a man, whether he commits, or whether you get married stops being the centre of your happiness.

You become happy in the present.

You don't need something external to happen before you allow yourself to feel fulfilled.

For me, the ultimate goal of healing isn't making someone fall in love with you. It's reaching a place where your happiness no longer depends entirely on whether someone loves you.

I've worked with many women who have experienced these situations.

But there's one young woman I particularly remember.

She was extremely attractive and had recently gone through a breakup.

Her mother was deeply worried about her and brought her to me.

When she came, she was in a very dark emotional place.

She felt suicidal.

She believed her life was over and that there was no meaning left in living.

That's how deeply the breakup had affected her.

We worked together during that difficult period.

And over time, I saw her begin to move forward with her life.

Today, from what I last knew, she has gone abroad, completed her law studies, and is working at a law firm.

I don't know whether she's currently in a committed relationship because we lost touch after she moved abroad.

But I do know that she reached a much better place in her life compared with where she was when she first came to me.

She was more peaceful with herself and had begun building a future beyond the relationship.

I don't claim that every positive development in her life happened solely because of healing. And someone experiencing suicidal thoughts also needs appropriate professional mental health support.

But her journey is something I remember because sometimes the greatest transformation isn't attracting another relationship. It's rediscovering yourself and finding a reason to live fully again.

First, I wouldn't judge either woman.

It really depends on what kind of relationship or experience someone wants.

But I do believe trying to change somebody else is largely a futile exercise.

I would much rather you work on yourself than spend your time trying to change another person.

When a man says he's not ready for a committed relationship, you should believe him.

He's telling you what he wants, or doesn't want.

You cannot force someone to become ready for commitment.

It's similar to someone saying they're not ready to become a mother.

You can't force that decision on them and expect them to change.

I experienced something similar in my first marriage.

I believe my ex-husband thought he could change me.

That was one of the reasons our marriage couldn't work.

You cannot enter a relationship expecting someone to become a completely different person.

You have to love someone for who they are, not for their potential or the person you imagine they could become.

If you're falling in love with somebody's potential, I think that's a terrible foundation for a relationship.

Now, from my Law of Attraction perspective, when a woman constantly wants a man to be different, she's focusing on what she feels is missing.

She's effectively saying, "He's not enough as he is."

She's coming from a place of lack rather than acceptance.

And I believe it's difficult to create a satisfying relationship while constantly focusing on changing the other person.

That doesn't mean she should accept a relationship that makes her unhappy.

It means she needs to decide whether this relationship is actually right for her.

This is where boundaries become extremely important.

I believe every person should have the willingness to walk away from a relationship where they're not being respected.

I've seen situations where one person takes advantage of another because they believe the other person has nowhere to go.

Perhaps they're financially dependent.

Perhaps they're emotionally dependent.

Perhaps they're afraid of being alone.

When someone exploits that dependence, it becomes a deeply unhealthy power dynamic.

No matter how deeply you love somebody, you need to respect yourself enough to recognise when a relationship is harmful.

Love and respect go hand in hand. Without respect, a relationship will eventually deteriorate.

In my experience, deeply rooted patterns often require inner work.

I would begin with inner child healing or shadow work.

You have to go deeper into your mind and understand what beliefs you're carrying.

What have you learned?

What have you absorbed from your family?

What experiences created the belief that you don't deserve commitment?

In my sessions, I often explore these areas through guided meditation and trance work.

But if someone wants to begin working on herself, one method I recommend exploring is Emotional Freedom Techniques, or EFT.

You can use EFT while examining your beliefs layer by layer.

You identify an emotional response or belief, work with it, and gradually explore the next layer.

I also recommend combining this with affirmations and visualisation.

Both can be useful practices, but they require consistency and repetition.

Sometimes, when you begin working with deeply held emotions, uncomfortable feelings come up.

That's why I believe people should approach inner work gently and seek qualified support if it becomes overwhelming.

In my energy healing practice, clients sometimes experience emotional shifts quite quickly.

My personal experience is that some clients feel a sense of release or lightness after a session, although these experiences vary and are not guaranteed.

I use an approach called DYS Process Healing, which brings together several of the healing modalities I've studied and practised.

I don't follow exactly the same method for every client.

Everyone has different experiences, beliefs, and emotional needs.

So the sessions are personalised.

For me, the goal is not simply to replace one negative statement with a positive statement.

It's to help someone understand herself more deeply and create a healthier relationship with herself.

One of the biggest mistakes I see is inconsistency.

A woman starts her manifestation practice with great excitement.

She writes a script, starts visualising, practises gratitude, and tries to maintain a positive emotional state.

Then a few weeks pass and nothing seems to happen.

She becomes disappointed.

She starts thinking, "This isn't working."

And she gives up.

Manifestation requires consistency, at least in the way I practise and teach it.

I find that people who struggle with maintaining consistent routines can find this particularly challenging. For some people with ADHD, maintaining repetitive practices may be difficult, although that doesn't mean they cannot use these techniques or achieve relationship goals.

Another mistake is constantly changing the script.

Initially, someone writes five pages about her ideal partner.

Then she reduces it to three pages.

Then she changes what she wants again.

Eventually, she's saying, "Universe, just give me somebody!"

There's no clarity.

I believe it's important to become clear about what you want, while remaining flexible about how it comes into your life.

Another essential part of my practice is detachment.

You should be able to approach manifestation almost like a game.

You set your intention, enjoy your visualisation, practise gratitude, and then continue living your life.

If you're constantly waiting, watching, and worrying about when your manifestation will happen, disappointment can take over.

In Law of Attraction philosophy, there's also something we call contrast.

Sometimes, when you begin visualising something you deeply want, you become more aware of situations and feelings that don't match that desire.

Old fears may surface.

You may begin doubting whether you're worthy of the relationship you're asking for.

I interpret this contrast as an opportunity to examine unresolved beliefs.

Some Law of Attraction teachings describe this as the Universe testing you, although I don't think every difficult event should be taken literally as a divine test.

This is one reason I believ